Friday, October 24, 2008

Fish heads

I've been thinking a lot about some of the weird symptoms of pregnancy that surprised me. I mean, it is well documented that pregnant women eat a lot, gain weight, often develop swollen ankles and feet, become bipolar, etc. But some pregnancy peculiarities made less sense to me---the bloody noses and the gums that bleed from routine teeth brushing for example. I would think that all of my blood would be in great demand growing a person and circulating and whatnot. I didn't realize that my head would become engorged with blood and it would look for all possible means of escape.

Not at all a symptom of pregnancy, but I must mention the fish flavored burps. Enduring the reoccurring taste of fish is the price I will pay for wanting a smart kid. According to recent studies, Omega 3 Fatty Acids are essential for baby's brain and seem to give the baby an edge in terms of early development. Not that I want to be one of those mothers that becomes obsessed with my child being the smartest kid that ever there was! But if I can take some fish oil pills and that will maybe help my child, why not? So as soon as I found out the little brain was starting to develop back in the early stages of pregnancy, I googled "pregnancy brain food" because I like to keep my searches as scientific sounding as possible. That's when I learned about Omegas and after confirming this info with my doc, I went out shopping.

There are several types of fish oil supplements to choose from, a few of which scream from their packaging, "No Fish Burps!" Unfortunately, these came at a premium price and I am a bargain shopper. My flawed thinking went something like this: I like fish + I don't burp a lot = I will get the cheap ones. I have since learned there are few things I could burp that would be more disgusting than fish oil. Vomit is the only thing that comes to mind.

The gross factor seems to revolve around the fact that the brain knows that it has not consumed any actual fish recently. Also, being that I take all of my pills (5 total) first thing in the morning, fish burps at 8:00 am are not exactly savory. Not that the time of day would change my opinion on this matter very much. What's even worse is when I attempt to get something else in my belly to mask the taste of the fish burp, like say Fruity Cheerios. The futility of this is much like masking the odors found in a bathroom (see I didn't actually say poop in this post) with Hawaiian breeze scented air fresheners. It is as effective as a hippy masking the non-showering aspect of their lifestyle with cheap patchouli oil. The burping is still fishy with an artificial cherry finish; it is mellow but still complex, a bit chewy. Perhaps aged in a cardboard barrel that once held a dead fish?

Slowly I am transforming into one of those annoying people that announces they do not like fish because it tastes "fishy." I never quite understood it before, but now I get it. Those people have taken cheap fish oil supplements too. I bet their kids are geniuses though.

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