Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I like turtles

This is Gollum, he's our turtle.  This is how we found him four years ago.  Dave had lost his wedding band and after months of searching, he had given up hope on finding it and ordered a new one.  Then one day as he was vacuuming up leaves, he saw a tiny turtle and beside it was his long lost wedding ring.  Because the poor little guy only had one good eye and would likely end up a statistic of natural selection, we felt it our duty to raise him.  We named him Gollum, former keeper of the ring.

Cute story right?  

Well today, as I was walking by the turtle tank while burping North, I saw him assuming a pretty dirty position in his glass swimming dish.  That's where he poops.  I saw a strange thing emerge from the area I assumed was his butt, thinking maybe that was turtle poop coming out.  But the thing kept coming and I realized it was purple.  Turtle poop is green, not purple.  

"Geeez uhz!" I thought while turning North's innocent eyes away.  It was Gollum's winky woo!

Here is what it looks like, if you dare!  Yes, this means I googled "turtle penis". 

I became worried that Gollum was lonely.  Perhaps even made more lonely by the fact that we bought him a half-size stone turtle that sits in the corner of his tank.  He mounts it occasionally.  But no, the display I witnessed is just normal turtle behavior.  Sounds hygienic according to this excerpt from Darren Naish's article "Terrifying sex organs of male turtles".

"Sometimes males will distend their organ neither while mating, nor while in the presence of females. Usually while bathing or drinking, the turtle will submerge the front half of his body, rise up on his back legs, and drop his organ through the cloaca. It is a sight to behold, and one that can startle both novice and experienced herpetoculturalists alike. The organ itself is large in proportion to the turtle, and dark purple in color. After several seconds, the turtle will retract the organ back through the cloaca. It may repeat this process once or twice."

Now I ask you.  Aren't you glad you visited my blog today?


Anonymous said...

Holy shit! It's like a kickstand!

Hezzer said...

I will never liken any hung-ness to horses again. They truly do win the race, don't they? Turtles. Who knew??

and just for the record. horrifying!

Marie said...

JESUS! Wow. That's all I have to say about that!