Warning: this post contains no segues

I've been avoiding my blog. I admit it. I apologize and all that, but it seems the world doesn't stop when I don't update here and that's good to know. As a matter of fact, the world seems to pick up the pace at a faster clip as I realize all that's happened since my last post. So let's just jump right in shall we?

All is well on the baby front. I had an appointment last week and everything seems to be progressing as expected. I'm measuring a bit small, 29 cm instead of 31 cm and the doc scheduled an ultrasound for me for next week. She didn't seem overly concerned about the small measurement and frankly, I'm not that surprised about it either. Compared to the other pregnant women I know, I don't look so obviously pregnant. I look more "Dayum! Does that girl have the biggest beer gut I've ever seen!" For real, my gut looks like your Uncle Lester's spare tire---except mine is solid and made of steel. If I didn't know any better, I would walk around asking perfect strangers to punch me in the belly just to prove to them how rock hard my baby gut is. But don't worry, I know that's not good for the baby. The doctor mentioned that to me when I dared him to pile 500 pounds of concrete blocks on my stomach and break them with a sledgehammer. Doctors man, not into double dog daring challenges as much as you'd think.

Meanwhile, little man is extremely active and I can feel him getting stronger. Every now and then when I get a kick, my body has a reflex jolt. I don't know what he's hitting in there. But as he gets more powerful, the sensations are getting more ticklish and more strange which causes me to yell out to him to stop. And that doesn't sound at all crazy. There is nothing weird about a woman clutching her belly as she demands it to stop tormenting her right? Oh to be a fly on the wall.

So our shiny brand spanking new metal roof is finally installed and it looks fantastic (now we want to paint the non-brick areas green to make the roof "pop" as designers like to annoyingly say). This roof will be good for the lifetime of the house and among other things is more energy efficient and will save us money on our utilities. Plus, it looks cool and stuff. The metal roof will also massage our feet and tell us we're pretty when we are feeling bloaty. This morning it rained for the first time since the roof was installed and it seems that two of our skylights now leak. Normally, I'm all about bringing the outside in design-wise, but this is a little extreme for my taste. So now I just hope the roofing company fixes the issue for us without charge. Either that or I will cry and let me just warn you that me crying plus snot equals not pretty.

I cannot think of a good segue here. Normally I don't talk about my job on my blog because I am not a stupidhead. But I am going to touch on a subject that has been causing me not to write for the last week.

First a bit of back story: my plan has always been to go back to work full time after my maternity leave. I had hoped and vocalized for years that I was interested in coming to the office for half of my work hours and telecommuting part time from home in the afternoons while caring for the baby. The plan was that Dave would keep the opposite schedule as me so that North would always be under the care of one of us and we could bypass the daycare route for awhile anyway. Dave and I are equal breadwinners in our household. So the idea of one of us quitting our job to raise the baby is simply not an option. Plus, neither of us wants to quit our job either, which is important to note. But daycare expenses in Raleigh are equal to a second mortgage, which can likewise take a toll on household expenses. Hence the solution I came up with years ago.

That has always been the rough plan and to be honest, if I didn't think it was attainable, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. I don't believe in having babies if you cannot afford them (I'm talking to you octuplet mom). So it came as a massive blow to me when my employers didn't embrace my plan as I had hoped they would. They do not want me to work from home at all, but they are willing to give me a flexible schedule where I set my hours (and therefore a pay cut will be incurred if I choose a reduction of hours obviously). I just worry about what this will mean for our household because while this is what I'm facing, Dave is facing a slow down of work caused by the recession. So if I'm taking a paycut and his business is slow, I'm sure you can figure out the math here. Granted, I have the option to keep my schedule full time---it's just that I have to be in the office to work. Therefore, I have 3 options:

1) Keep working full time and either find daycare we cannot afford or ask Dave to become superman and raise our child and keep his business afloat while bringing peace to the Middle East. Did you catch the sarcasm of that last sentence? Yeah, this is not a viable option for us.

2) Work a cut back schedule, say 6AM to 12 PM and suffer the financial repercussions associated with it and hope to God benefits don't get cut too. I can try to supplement my income with the freedom that afternoon availability would bring (while watching the baby of course). Anybody looking for a snarky writer to contribute to your next project? Anybody? Crickets...

3) Suck it up and stop bitching about this on my blog when there are people losing their jobs left and right out there right now. Why am I whining about this when I HAVE a job. I know. I know.

Problem is I'm stubborn and I have a hard time dealing with it when people tell me what I can and cannot do. When someone tells me I will not have time to both care for my child and do my job, that sounds to me like a challenge to prove to them I CAN do it. You can be damn sure I know it will be a challenge, but if you don't think I'm up for that then you don't know me very well. Let's just say that I'm not giving up on this.

Wow, are you inspired yet?

In other news, I've signed us up for a CSA today, which I am greatly looking forward to. If you're not familiar with a CSA, it stands for Community Supported Agriculture. In a nutshell, you pick a CSA participating farmer and buy a share of his crops up front. Depending on your farmer, either you select your produce from his list or he picks from his seasonal crops and makes up a box for you to pick up at a scheduled time once a week. This will be the first time we've been a part of a CSA and we've decided just to buy an individual's share (works out to $8 per week for 12 weeks). With the baby coming and not knowing exactly how much food we'll get from the CSA, I don't want to stress out about food possibly going to waste. I look forward to letting everyone know how it goes and sharing some recipes this spring.

CSAs are a great way to support your local farmer and get the best selection of pesticide-free produce in one fell swoop. Now is the perfect time to sign up in your area if you're interested, here's a helpful link.