Try not to breathe

It's early in the morning and I've given up on going back to sleep. But I can't really complain much about this stage of pregnancy because I'm well aware of how good I have it compared to so many other ladies. This whole pregnancy has been so easy in fact, that I worry there will be a price to pay once North is here. I'm half expecting the doctors to hand me the most colicky baby in the world while muttering, "time to pay the piper." But fear not! I've read and watched "The Happiest Baby on the Block" so I'm somewhat familiar with the five soothing techniques described in it. Every now and then I like to test Dave on his knowledge of the five "S" techniques explained in the book and like a soldier, he quickly barks, "shushing, swaddling, side-position, ...sauerkraut! and... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious sir!"

A friend of mine also recommended the "Mayo Clinic Complete Book of Pregnancy and Baby's First Year" (I bought mine used on Amazon for $0.01 and mainly just had to pay shipping to get it here. When it arrived, the book had a sticker on the front that says "Compliments of Your State Farm Agent" which leads me to believe that our State Farm agent is hoarding all of his copies since he didn't provide us with one. Bad agent bad.) So lately I've been reading all about labor and delivery since I was too cheap to actually sign us up for a class. Not taking a class probably sounds bad I'm sure, but I can do a lot with that $80 saved! The way I look at it, this book cost me all of $5 to learn the material myself with a little bit of discipline. So far, I'm loving the ritual of reading it and I'm surprised at what an emotional experience it has been.

I'm sure it's just a coincidence, but the last three nights while i read about labor, North was moving furniture around in my womb. I'm guessing he is in the process of packing up his belongings for his big trip. But I think the book is helping him to prepare for what he needs to do as well. I can handle the direction and explanation of what my body should be doing during each of the stages of pregnancy---in fact, I enjoy the vivid description of my cervix being a turtleneck that slowly draws the baby's head out. While learning about breathing patterns and relaxation techniques, I find my body involuntary trying them out and getting comfortable with them. So maybe the baby can feel me practicing and knows it's time to jump ship soon.

But when i read about the tips for the labor companion, I tear up. Somehow reading through the preparatory information meant for Dave conjures up visions of what labor will really be like. It's like catching a glipse of the movie we're going to see in a few weeks. As soon as the book brought my labor companion into the picture, it all became real to me. Kind of funny, but when I think about it in terms of me, it's too abstract for me to feel anything and a stoic wave washes over me. But when I look at the experience through Dave's eyes, I can start to wrap my head around what the future holds. I don't even know if that makes sense to anyone but me. Maybe I shouldn't write blog posts early in the morning when I can't sleep.

But this tip in particular got me all choked up:

-Breathe with her, maintaining eye contact.

There's just no escaping that sentence! It's looking right at you, refusing to break eye contact and it's matching your breathing patterns! That sentence can see you seeing me seeing you and it makes me realize that no matter what, everything is going to be just fine. That's why it makes me cry.