Monday, January 12, 2009

Lucky number seven

So I’ve finally reached 7 months and I’m happy to announce that I officially walk like a cowboy. I wouldn’t say so much that I waddle when I walk as I saunter like someone that's been straddling a dusty horse since 2 days west of here. If I happened into a store that sold boot spurs, I would snatch them up right away just so the full effect of my cowboy saunter could be witnessed by all. I wish western saloons were not obsolete, so I could mosey on into one and order a shot of the hard stuff while glaring at the onlookers that were trying to avoid my gaze because I was dressed in black. Because hello, being dressed in black in a spaghetti western means I’m the bad guy---the pregnant bad guy in this case.

When I first encountered this pain in my pelvis that forces me to stroll around in such a bad-to-the-bone manner, I thought maybe I had done something to deserve the pain. Like, maybe I had been split-walking in my sleep or something. Then I realized this is the pain that those that came before me refer to as their pelvis splitting apart. I'm still amazed that as soon as I find out one of my symptoms has happened to someone else, it somehow makes it much more tolerable to deal with. Feeling like what I'm going through is normal lessens the pain and inconvenience of it all I guess. Plus, I've always wanted to be a cowboy, which helps make the pain easier to swallow.

So 81 days to go, which is pretty alarming. I stepped out my front door this morning and saw some tulip shoots starting to emerge from our flower beds. I smiled as I realized by the time those flowers bloom, we will have a new member of the family to admire their pretty colors. The closer we get, the more Carpe Diem my philosophy becomes.

Maybe all those doomsday naysayers are finally taking a toll on me. You know the ones that warn in foreboding tones, "you better sleep now, because you will...NEVER...SLEEP...AGAIN! mwuahaha." Or the ones that pop your happiness balloon and declare, "you better enjoy it now because pretty soon you'll have a baby and your life will change."

Really? My life will change you say? That hadn't occurred to me. Thanks for keeping me on the up and up in terms of what to expect. I was thinking that Dave and I could maintain our current lifestyle filled with hookers and weekend heroin binges. I don't know. Maybe people think we live some uber exciting life that doesn't work well with raising a family? I just hope that I don't become one of those prophetic bubble burster sorts after I've given birth. Don't get me wrong, I fully expect my perspective to change once I've become a mom, I just hope to not become a killjoy in the process.

So until I see those tulips open their buds, I'll be attempting to sleep late and indulging in all the hedonistic pleasures I can get away with while being pregnant. In other words, I'll be watching reality tv and eating bonbons.


momma mia said...

AHA !!

I knew you and Dave were doing hookers and heroin binges on your weekends.

Well all I can say is THANK GOD you're pregnant, so that you can stay out of jail and parole free.

I know I'll sleep better tonight.

love, mom

Nate's Mama said...

Has anyone told you that your life is going to change? Cause it is.