Delivery tips for the hospital

There are a ton of articles online about what to pack in your hospital bag when you're ready to deliver your baby (most of these items are absolutely not necessary in my experience).  The only items that I feel were essential during my hospital stay were: chapstick, gum, hair tie, toothpaste, toothbrush, toiletries including soap and shampoo, make-up, lanolin, nursing bra,  cell phone, camera, laptop, going home outfit for baby and comfy going home outfit for you (although most women in labor show up to the hospital wearing clothes, so you could just wear those home if you really wanted to minimize your packing.)  All the other stuff you hear that you need like slippers, robe, nightgown, special pillows, etc is really not necessary or the hospital provides an alternative.  

But I've been thinking about my hospital experience and some of the useful information I knew beforehand and some valuable lessons I learned in retrospect that I'd like to share with anyone preparing to deliver so they are more prepared than I was.  So here we go!

-Eat something that is going to fill you up while you are still at home. I opted for lasagna and a root beer float (I did not get sick thankfully, although in my experience milk comes back up in a somewhat refreshing manner in case you were wondering.)  Most hospitals do not allow any food in the delivery room.  And most of the time you are only allowed water and ice chips during the later stages of labor.

-Don't pee right before you go to the hospital.  They will want a sample as soon as you get there. (Edited to add: I only live about 2 miles from the hospital where I delivered.  I shouldn't advise people on the requirements of their bladder coupled with the possible staining of their car's upholstry when I don't know everyone's precise mileage from their hospital.  Don't listen to me.)

-Discuss important details like donating the cord to the blood bank, Hepatitis B immunization, circumcision, etc. with your partner beforehand so that you are prepared to make your wishes known to the hospital staff when these issues come up even if your partner is not in the room at that time.

-Keep your packing to a minimal level.  Hilariously, I packed 2 encyclopedia-sized baby manuals (one for me and one for Dave so we didn't fight over them) that I was convinced we would want to speedread once the baby was born.  And we might have, had we not discovered the baby channel on our TV which played in the background for the duration of our stay in the hospital.

-Only bring the delivery essentials for the delivery room.  Keep the overnight bags in the car until you are moved to the postpartum room.

-Have your husband or labor partner take notes on your progression through labor, noting the time, dilation and any other labor details of interest.  Often these things can be blurry in retrospect and it's nice to have a detailed account of what took place to look back on afterwards.

-Have your husband or labor partner keep track of physicians (or contractors) names and the services they provide in case there are insurance disputes later on.  If someone walks into your room and asks for your insurance information, be sure to get their name as well.  Same goes for any bill paying that may be done during your hospital stay.  

-Be very vocal and extremely direct with your nurses if there is something you need.  I made the mistake of being too casual with my nursing staff and apparently that translated to them as me not needing anything.  For example, I mentioned my interest in speaking with a lactation consultant after North and I experienced some latching issues his first morning of life.  By 4:00 PM, no one had visited the room because the nurses hadn't relayed my request.  Be vigilant about your needs.

-Plan on wearing the gowns provided by the hospital.  You're going to be bleeding quite a bit and there is no need to ruin your pretty clothes you brought with you. Plus, their gowns have snaps at the shoulders and are great for nursing.  I recommend wearing one gown with the back open and putting another gown on backwards to create a makeshift robe.  It's fashion-forward and the nurses will respect the MacGyver in you.  Be warned though, you may surprise yourself with your nonchalance regarding who sees your ass hanging out after delivery.

-Order 2 desserts from room service.  No one is going to judge how much food you eat.  Be nice and give 1 of the desserts to your husband.

-Drink a ton of water.  If you have a catheter, it's important that you start peeing on your own as quickly as possible.  But if you're nursing, you need more liquids as well.  Plus keeping yourself well hydrated will help with constipation and any horribleness that may or may not be going on with the backside of your body.

-Take the stool softeners the nurses offer you.  And hell, take the pain pills too!

-If you plan on pumping and you already have your pump, take it with you to the hospital.  I had the lactation consultation look at mine to make sure that my breast shields actually fit me (she gave me better fitting ones for free). 

-Don't be modest.  There is no need to be embarrassed about delivery or nursing.  You are going to have lots of things going in and coming out of your body.  Doctors will be putting their hands in strange places and nurses and consultants will be grabbing your boobs to show you techniques for nursing.  Remember they are experts and not perverts.  Let go of your inhibitions and get as much knowledge as you can from their experience while you can.

-Keep the baby in the room with you if you want, it's good practice after all!  But don't be afraid to call the nurses to come take the baby to the nursery either. Remember, you just gave birth and you need some sleep too.

-If you have a boy and you plan to circumcise, try to make sure it is completed 24 hours BEFORE you leave the hospital.  North got circumcised (sorry to announce this to the internets son, but it's for a good cause I promise) an hour before we were discharged.  This led to a much more difficult first day at home for everyone than necessary.

-Make sure your spouse is present for all directions on paperwork and on baby care instructions.  More than likely, the mother will be exhausted and on some form of pain medication, so her memory may not be in the best shape for these details.  I still fail to understand why all directions and instructions were given only to me.  I think both parents need to be present if at all possible, that way everyone is accountable and not just the mother.

-Take any extra supplies provided by the hospital for both you and the baby.  Apparently, you are not supposed to take the blankets, but we did walk away with a few.  They may be ugly, but they are incredibly multipurpose.  Take the pads, wash basin, hats, baby shirts, mesh underwear, pads, take it all!

-The nurses may also ask you if you need anything else before you leave---do not be shy about asking for more diapers, wipes, pads, ice packs, etc.  We walked out of the hospital with an extra $40 in diapers and wipes when I explained I was using cloth on him and would need something to tide us over until the cloth fit him.  Not only did this save us having to go to the store, but it saved us money too.

-Bring reusable grocery bags to the hospital with you to carry all your free hospital loot home.

I hope to add to this list as more things occur to me.  I'd also love to hear any other tips you ladies have out there.

North meets world

The ride to the hospital was the longest 2 mile car ride of my life and Dave had to pull over twice so I could work through some contractions that were coming every 4 minutes. We arrived to the hospital around 6:30 PM last night and were welcomed to the hospital by several tour groups of expectant families. Although in pain, it amused me to be the obligatory woman in labor character for the tour group.  I  know  I spent our tour of the hospital weeks earlier looking for noticeably laboring women moaning through the hallways and saw not one.  Please note, I was not moaning either, but I'm sure I looked distressed enough every few minutes to freak them out a bit.  They put us in the triage room to assess my progress.

Around 7:30 PM, I was 4-5 cm dilated and they administered an IV. We discussed an epidural and I decided to give up the ghost of natural childbirth after enduring more than 24 hours of regular and increasingly painful contractions. My fear was that dealing with the pain would tire me out too much to push. Moreover, I felt like I was impeding my own dilation and progression by tensing up during the later contractions. The earlier ones from the previous 24 hours were easier to work through and somehow relax during the pain; whereas, I found myself trying to freeze the pain and just wait each contraction out until it dissipated with the later more painful ones.

I'm so thankful that I wasn't stubborn about this decision because it would be another 2 hours before the epidural was put in around 9:30 PM. I've come to realize that this decision is truly a personal one. At some point during the experience, you have to weigh many more factors than just your tolerance for pain---for me, time was my most weighty factor. I really wanted North to be born on April 7, my Grandpa Kennelly's birthday. We had already decided to name him in honor of Dave's grandfather, Paul North Kilian, for his first name. And we wanted him to carry my maiden name, Miles, for his middle name. So having him on April 7 was my way of honoring a part of my other grandfather as well. Nothing like putting a little added pressure on yourself! But honestly at 9:30 PM when they gave me the epidural, I didn't think having him before midnight was remotely in the cards.

Fifteen minutes later, at 9:45 PM Dr. B broke my water, which was a relief and the I'm-going-to-pee-my-gown-feeling went away (because well...I did pee my gown essentially). She measured me at about 5 cm after she broke the water. The sweet epidural surrounded me like a warm hug and all become happy with the world again. I also stopped shivering like a madman, which I think was starting to freak Dave out. Neither of us were prepared for the uncontrollable shaking that overtook my body when labor started.  Dave wore his heavy fleece jacket for the duration of my labor, the room was so cold, but I couldn't feel a thing.

By 10:00 PM, I was 8 cm dilated. You got that right, I had progressed 3 cm in fifteen minutes because that's the way I roll. The problem with such quick progression though was that North's heart rate started dropping. They gave me oxygen, attached an internal fetal heart monitor to North's head and had me change positions to see if that didn't improve his heart rate. There was talk about a C-section at that point, but only as a last resort. Dr. B. really wanted to give me every opportunity to have him vaginally (sorry to any guys reading this, I know that word is upsetting to you). And although having him via C-section was not part of my grand vision, I would have signed up in a heartbeat if there was any real fear of distress for him. But he stabilized within 15 minutes or so.

At 10: 30 PM, I had progressed to 9 cm and 0 station. A catheter was inserted so I no longer had to be concerned about peeing my pants. I also think that catheters should be prerequisite for pregnant ladies throughout the duration of gestation. There should be laws about such things. Write to your Congressman ladies!

North still needed to move further down before he could be delivered. So I started pushing at 10:50 PM. I wasn't very good at it at first quite frankly. It probably took the third contraction to really get a good feel for what I needed to do. There was also a brief confessional period where I admitted I wasn't pushing with my full effort due to my fear of pooping. Everyone assured me that pooping was normal and they wouldn't be bothered by it. But, I still didn't believe them. It helped, but to be honest I could have pushed more the whole time. In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't because I would probably have ripped up my body a lot worse if I did give it 110%.

Dave was, of course, awesome throughout the entire experience. When he wasn't texting friends and family with progress reports, he was holding my hand or making me laugh. As a matter of fact, the entire process was miraculously pleasant, intimate and enjoyable for all four of us. Dave held one leg, while Nurse Mary held the other and counted out loud. Dr. B, encouraging me the whole time, updated me on the progress down below and directions on what to do next. Meanwhile I held Dave's other hand, closed my eyes and tried my darndest to focus all my energies on the task at hand.

They positioned a mirror for me to watch, which surprised me that I actually wanted to see what was going on down there. I also thought it would help me to see what progress I was making and what kind of pushing was most effective. When he crowned, Dr. B asked me if I wanted to feel his head. That was the second most awesome thing I have ever felt. The first was a couple of minutes later, as North shot out of my body. That's the only way I can describe it because I had no idea the process would be that quick. I ended up pushing for 50 minutes, and North was born at 11:39 PM. As soon as he came out, they laid him on a blanket on my chest and laughter emitted from deep inside me at the realization that he was out. Never have such true tears of joy been shed from these eyes. Looking back on that moment now, I can clearly see that I have been building up for that one moment of pure joy my entire life.

Wolf!

Damn, I really thought today was the day.  Contractions started last night around 6:00 PM and I tracked them through the night using the Contraction Master. (My helpful tip if you plan on using this application though---put a temporary sticker on your "S" key.  That little sucker is hard to find around 3:00 AM when you're half asleep and not wearing your glasses.  Other than that, this method is a lot easier than the stop watch, pen & paper method.  And there's even an iPhone application for all you nerdheads out there.)

I have never been so happy to see the light of day as I was this morning.  I guess I find solace in knowing I could call my OB's office during the daytime.  Whereas, feeling confident enough in my progress to go to the hospital in the middle of the night seems so foreign.  I almost welcome an induction at this point if that means I can avoid having to time contractions in the dark again.  Talk about a lonely experience, even with a sleeping husband lying right beside you on the couch.

North, this is your mother----I order you to give off whatever stress hormones necessary to kick start my body into labor.  A friend pointed out that you are not even born yet and you are already a tease.  You don't want your reputation to precede you do you?

OK, I called the OB and they want to check me out.  Stay tuned!

Edited to add:  3 cm dilated, thinned out, negative 1 station.  Doctor said the contractions needed to be 5 minutes apart for 1 minute durations  over the course of a 1 hour interval.  That happened while we were at the OB's office.  Since coming home and downing some lasagna and a root beer float, they're now on 4-1-1 levels.  I think we're headed to the hospital soon.  I feel like this kind of pain needs some medical professionals present to witness it.

North heading south? (thanks Elisa)

Last night had me making countless trips to the bathroom, which started me thinking labor was imminent.  Around 3:30 AM, the first contraction hit and I laid in bed opening my eyes only to see my alarm clock 10 minutes later each time a new contraction hit.  Around 5:00 AM, I figured this was the real deal and I got up to prepare.  Preparation equals cleaning my house even when I'm not nesting, so it's no surprise my noise upstairs ended up waking Dave downstairs.  He called to me as I was on my way downstairs with the laundry basket, "everything OK?"

This will surprise people, but I don't commonly get up at 5:00 AM to do a load of darks.  As non alarmingly as possible, I explained what was going on to him.  This was the third time in a week I had these contractions, but each time they had stopped before.  And I'm starting to get a Chicken Little complex.

Once Dave was out of bed, showered, packed and had completed his holy-shit-we're-going-to-the-hospital-checklist, the contractions stopped....again.  Dave went into work with instructions to call him if they started back up again.

I decided to stay home from work and eat pineapple while chugging Castor oil.  I deliciously slept most of the morning away (why didn't I take more naps during pregnancy?) And I took a leisurely  2 mile waddle around the neighborhood.  Finally, I got over the guilt of not going to work by realizing this was the last time in a long while I would have this kind of time to myself.  The walk was just what I needed to clear my head and gain some perspective.  North, you are a very lucky boy to be born at such a beautiful time of year.  You will be able to celebrate your own birth every year as the world blossoms around you.  It's like everything is coming to life now because you are on your way.

No promises, but as I write this, I'm timing contractions again.  Right now, they are about 7 minutes apart.  Keep your fingers crossed!

D-Day plus one

Sunday was filled with blueberry pancakes, lots of sunshine, yard work and a big pan of lasagna---but no baby.  Dave used the extension to pet and baby-proof the deck by running some steel tension cable railing between the steel bars the length of it.  We can now let Jake out on the deck without having to worry about him taking a flying super dog leap off.  Meanwhile, I pulled weeds and dressed up like a pregnant farmer.  

I'll try again to have a baby tomorrow after work.  Word on the street is we might try some old wives tales for inducing labor in the coming days.  We'll keep everyone posted.

End of the line

Today I faced one of my biggest pregnancy fears to date---the dreaded internal cervical exam. Dun dun dun! It wasn't nearly as bad as I had built it up in my mind though. I had heard other women tell tales of their buttocks involuntary scooting off the exam table to escape the doctor's prying hands such was their discomfort during the procedure. I arrived for my appointment filled with dread and prepared for much pain and uncontrollable scooting.

To my credit, I purposely scheduled today's appointment with the only female doctor in the practice. She's a small woman and my hope was that her height also translated to her hand size as well. Word to the wise for all you pregnant folk out there---study each doctors hands and strategically schedule your appointments accordingly! Nonetheless, my exam was not horrible and I did not try to squirm away from her (she was too strong). I was actually a bit disappointed because I wanted to have a good horror story to report to my fellow first time pregnant ladies out there to freak them out. Not to say that I enjoyed the exam, but it was certainly no worse than a regular speculum exam.

As for the results of the exam, my cervix is 50 % effaced and I am 1.5 cm dilated, which the doctor said was pretty good for 38 weeks. I'm also measuring almost 36 cm at 38 weeks, which is a very slight improvement from last week's measurement. I'm attributing the improvement to being a bit more diligent about taking my iron supplements, which may or may not be related in the least.

I'm hoping all of this means I'm on my way to a normal delivery. Even if that means possibly having my water break in public or even better, at work. I look forward to the hopefully funny story of how it all goes down. And if it turns out to be a boring story, I will simply make up a lie to tell everyone. Dave put a waterproof pad under my side of the bed and I've started carrying a spare towel in my car just in case my bag o' waters breaks at an inopportune time. But really, I think the worst place for my water to break would be in the shower or toilet because I'm not sure I would be able to tell what had just happened you know?

I envision being in some very public place when it all goes down just like in the movies. Everyone's focus will shift entirely when they realize my water has broken because we all know that means the baby is going to fall out of me at ANY SECOND. There will be tears and screaming and me behaving badly to my husband for comic effect of course. It will all be very chaotic, yet hilarious! But really, we will all be closer in the end as we gaze upon the little baby that emerged from my vagina after a mere couple of pushes. That's how babies are born in the movies. Then the credits will roll.

She's mighty mighty...

The cute little toes that were once attached to my feet have been replaced with pudgy vienna sausages. If I still possessed the ability to reach my feet, I might consider eating those delicious little meat sticks that are my toes. But it seems, touching my feet is not part of God's plan right now. Likewise, my ankles have been devoured by my calves, and I now have the sexiest cankles this side east of the Mississippi. I don't know how my husband keeps his hands off me lately, such is my hotness.

Oh yes, now I know his secret! He has eyes! It occurs to me that I wore only a black sports bra and black elastic band running shorts while we mulched the front yard in the 80 degree weather last Sunday. I donned this highly provocative outfit for a couple of reasons:

1) I am the color of paste.

2) I read that the baby can see light through my belly and I wanted him to see as much of the sunlight as possible so it doesn't freak him out as much a few weeks from now when he sees the light of day.

3) I like to make my husband blush.

4) I have no shame.

5) I enjoy punishing our neighbors for their nosiness by making their corneas bleed.

Anyway, all I can do is laugh and make fun of myself for being a brick-house. But the baby is good. I had an appointment just yesterday and measured 34.5 cm at a little over 36 weeks---so still small, but growing.

We're still spending most of our time reading and preparing for labor. The books seem to break up each stage of labor first addressing the woman in very scientific detail as to what is happening in the womb before addressing what the labor companion can be doing to help at the various stages. I find myself leafing through the stages to find that next labor companion section because they are very helpful indeed. Here's a sample of what I have learned about how Dave will spend the labor process:

-Encourage her and tell her what a great job she is doing. Do not take it personally if she throws blunt objects in your general direction.

-Signal to her that a contraction has ended by patting her abdomen, unless she attempts to bite you when you do that. It's not a good idea to jokingly ask the nurse for a muzzle either. No one thinks your "joke" is funny.

-Whisper to her an "I love you" from time to time. Rather than her normal response, she may tell you that she wishes certain parts of your body would fall off. Further, she may threaten to remove parts of your body in your sleep. She is just joking of course, but keep your distance just in case.

-Feed her ice chips to keep her fluid levels up and help her keep cool. If she tries to shove the cup of ice chips into your nether regions, she is trying to let you know she is not thirsty or hot after all. Also, this is all your fault.

Ninth inning

Tomorrow, we officially mark our entry into being 36 weeks or 9 months along. I believe it's not until I hit 38 weeks that the baby is considered full term though. So I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the fact that she could blow any day now. Granted, I highly doubt that is going to happen. I'm just saying it is within the realm of possibility though. I fully expect North to stay put till his due date of April 4---if not longer. I'd also like to point out that other recent dabbling I've done testing my psychic ability failed miserably.

Slowly but surely, we're preparing for the inevitable. We've found a pediatrician around the corner that we're happy with and we toured the hospital where our baby will emerge from places where the sun does not shine. The hospital was packed with expectant parents and I counted three different tours going on while we were there. The maternity ward and all of the delivery rooms were full (although I heard no screams and trust me, I was listening intently for them). I don't know what was going on nine months ago, but there are a lot of babies out there ready to be born. I have a hunch the hospital will be maxed to the gills in early April as well. I'm expecting pregnant ladies wrestling around on the ground fighting over room availability. Let's just say I've been practicing my figure four leg lock in anticipation of the strategy needed to get my own room.

The tour itself was rather hilarious in hindsight. First off, the tour guide is a volunteer and not actual paid medical staff per say. Yet, all of the expectant mothers were quizzing her about very medical topics that she couldn't answer. OK...OK, I didn't ask her anything remotely medical. I spent the majority of the tour trying to think up a brilliant question that would make the other expectant families on the tour step back in awe as to the awesomeness of my question. But I ended up asking about the hospital's policy on food for women in labor because my only concern is hamburgers apparently. Most of the husbands, meanwhile, were interrogating the tour guide about how many electronic gadgets they could have plugged in at one time, whether there was wi-fi, if she could go over the photo and video policy again, if they could bring in their Wii, etc. The whole experience was very Mars/Venus if you know what I mean.

Of course, I'm sharing very specific examples for comic effect. There were a couple of expectant fathers at both the pediatrician and the hospital tour with questions that were so informed and relevant, I couldn't control my emotion and wept at their feet. I'm hoping those fathers were actually doctors and just showing off to make the rest of us feel inadequate (good job guys!) Granted, I've been trying to read through as much material as I can, but I've gotten a bit sidetracked with sewing projects and preparing for the baby in other ways. But I have a feeling I'll be that lady in labor attempting to speed read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" up until North's head crowns. And Dave will be the guy that misses the birth of his baby because his wife has asked him to fetch her another burger from the cafeteria.