Back in the saddle

My maternity leave is over and I've been back to work for two weeks now. It's going much smoother than I thought it would. But there are some adjustments that have had to be made in our lives. Going to bed earlier to accommodate getting up at 5:00 AM is probably the biggest change for me. I'm not exactly a chipper morning person. Surprisingly, I actually show up to work on time now though because I know I have to get those six hours in by noon to relieve Dave so he can go to his office downtown.

Being separated from North was also a big adjustment. Thankfully, leaving him is made so much easier by the fact that I am leaving him with Dave and not a daycare. I would be a weepy mess if I had to drop him off somewhere. Mothers that successfully adjust to daycare early on, I applaud you, and I will join your ranks when he's a bit older. But for now, we are so fortunate to be able to take turns caring for him during the day. Although I raised a bit of a stink about it at the time, I couldn't be happier about my reduced schedule at work. So here I am now eating a bit of delicious crow.

*If you're not comfortable reading about breastfeeding, I would encourage you to read no further. Also, I hate to break it to you, but we're mammals. Did I just blow your mind or what?

Being North's only food source (that sounds weird), I have to pump twice during my six hour shift away from him. I'm not sure that I will ever get used to sitting at my desk with my shirt up, pressing the edge of my desk into the breastshields in an attempt to precariously balance them and not spill the milk accumulating in the bottles. My breast pump is not of the hands free variety, hence my little balancing act. One false move and I'm wearing that liquid gold. I have thought about cutting two holes in an old bra to fit the breastshield through, thereby making it ghetto hands free. But then I'd be the cool girl walking around all day long with two big holes in my bra. I suppose I could take a lesson from Mr. Rogers constant sweater changing and alternate bras every time I need to pump. Yeah, that's seems like way more effort than I want to put into this. But back to the subject of pumping on the clock. The boobs-on-display thing is kind of strange, made more comical by the fact that my desk sits in front of a wall of windows. We're talking floor to ceiling here folks. Sure, I could pump in the kitchen or the bathroom like so many other women, but it takes time and I prefer trying to do work at the same time. If someone actually can see me pumping away at my desk from outside, I pity that poor bastard.

Breastfeeding has become extremely normal in our world and it almost doesn't occur to me how weirded out people can still be about it. It is intimate, natural and often hilarious in my experience. But pumping milk manually makes me overwhelmingly feel like a milk cow on a Sesame Street tour of a dairy farm. The main joy I get out of it is carrying my milk home each day in a little brown bag that says "Carolina Country Fresh." I'm my own little dairy farm!

I'm not complaining about the pumping though. I know I'm lucky to even have a supply. It's just a whole lot of work and organization. Between the accessory washing and drying, bag labeling, milk transporting and storing. Often, it feels like I should pursue a career in dairy to justify my preoccupation with milk. Not to mention the defrosting and bottle feeding that has become Dave's new hobby. Sometimes I wish men could induce lactation the way women can. Then again, Dave with boobs = not as cool as it sounds.

Feeding someone with your own body is still miraculous to me. It makes me wonder if other mammals are just as amazed by it all? Do mother dogs look at their litter of pups feeding off her teats and think, "so that's what those are for!" Probably not. But I'm a human with an ego alright? Damn it, there's a sense of accomplishment in knowing that your body just produced say ten ounces of milk. That's almost a can of Coke! I'm still in awe when I look at how much North has grown and think, "I did that."

Delivery tips for the hospital

There are a ton of articles online about what to pack in your hospital bag when you're ready to deliver your baby (most of these items are absolutely not necessary in my experience).  The only items that I feel were essential during my hospital stay were: chapstick, gum, hair tie, toothpaste, toothbrush, toiletries including soap and shampoo, make-up, lanolin, nursing bra,  cell phone, camera, laptop, going home outfit for baby and comfy going home outfit for you (although most women in labor show up to the hospital wearing clothes, so you could just wear those home if you really wanted to minimize your packing.)  All the other stuff you hear that you need like slippers, robe, nightgown, special pillows, etc is really not necessary or the hospital provides an alternative.  

But I've been thinking about my hospital experience and some of the useful information I knew beforehand and some valuable lessons I learned in retrospect that I'd like to share with anyone preparing to deliver so they are more prepared than I was.  So here we go!

-Eat something that is going to fill you up while you are still at home. I opted for lasagna and a root beer float (I did not get sick thankfully, although in my experience milk comes back up in a somewhat refreshing manner in case you were wondering.)  Most hospitals do not allow any food in the delivery room.  And most of the time you are only allowed water and ice chips during the later stages of labor.

-Don't pee right before you go to the hospital.  They will want a sample as soon as you get there. (Edited to add: I only live about 2 miles from the hospital where I delivered.  I shouldn't advise people on the requirements of their bladder coupled with the possible staining of their car's upholstry when I don't know everyone's precise mileage from their hospital.  Don't listen to me.)

-Discuss important details like donating the cord to the blood bank, Hepatitis B immunization, circumcision, etc. with your partner beforehand so that you are prepared to make your wishes known to the hospital staff when these issues come up even if your partner is not in the room at that time.

-Keep your packing to a minimal level.  Hilariously, I packed 2 encyclopedia-sized baby manuals (one for me and one for Dave so we didn't fight over them) that I was convinced we would want to speedread once the baby was born.  And we might have, had we not discovered the baby channel on our TV which played in the background for the duration of our stay in the hospital.

-Only bring the delivery essentials for the delivery room.  Keep the overnight bags in the car until you are moved to the postpartum room.

-Have your husband or labor partner take notes on your progression through labor, noting the time, dilation and any other labor details of interest.  Often these things can be blurry in retrospect and it's nice to have a detailed account of what took place to look back on afterwards.

-Have your husband or labor partner keep track of physicians (or contractors) names and the services they provide in case there are insurance disputes later on.  If someone walks into your room and asks for your insurance information, be sure to get their name as well.  Same goes for any bill paying that may be done during your hospital stay.  

-Be very vocal and extremely direct with your nurses if there is something you need.  I made the mistake of being too casual with my nursing staff and apparently that translated to them as me not needing anything.  For example, I mentioned my interest in speaking with a lactation consultant after North and I experienced some latching issues his first morning of life.  By 4:00 PM, no one had visited the room because the nurses hadn't relayed my request.  Be vigilant about your needs.

-Plan on wearing the gowns provided by the hospital.  You're going to be bleeding quite a bit and there is no need to ruin your pretty clothes you brought with you. Plus, their gowns have snaps at the shoulders and are great for nursing.  I recommend wearing one gown with the back open and putting another gown on backwards to create a makeshift robe.  It's fashion-forward and the nurses will respect the MacGyver in you.  Be warned though, you may surprise yourself with your nonchalance regarding who sees your ass hanging out after delivery.

-Order 2 desserts from room service.  No one is going to judge how much food you eat.  Be nice and give 1 of the desserts to your husband.

-Drink a ton of water.  If you have a catheter, it's important that you start peeing on your own as quickly as possible.  But if you're nursing, you need more liquids as well.  Plus keeping yourself well hydrated will help with constipation and any horribleness that may or may not be going on with the backside of your body.

-Take the stool softeners the nurses offer you.  And hell, take the pain pills too!

-If you plan on pumping and you already have your pump, take it with you to the hospital.  I had the lactation consultation look at mine to make sure that my breast shields actually fit me (she gave me better fitting ones for free). 

-Don't be modest.  There is no need to be embarrassed about delivery or nursing.  You are going to have lots of things going in and coming out of your body.  Doctors will be putting their hands in strange places and nurses and consultants will be grabbing your boobs to show you techniques for nursing.  Remember they are experts and not perverts.  Let go of your inhibitions and get as much knowledge as you can from their experience while you can.

-Keep the baby in the room with you if you want, it's good practice after all!  But don't be afraid to call the nurses to come take the baby to the nursery either. Remember, you just gave birth and you need some sleep too.

-If you have a boy and you plan to circumcise, try to make sure it is completed 24 hours BEFORE you leave the hospital.  North got circumcised (sorry to announce this to the internets son, but it's for a good cause I promise) an hour before we were discharged.  This led to a much more difficult first day at home for everyone than necessary.

-Make sure your spouse is present for all directions on paperwork and on baby care instructions.  More than likely, the mother will be exhausted and on some form of pain medication, so her memory may not be in the best shape for these details.  I still fail to understand why all directions and instructions were given only to me.  I think both parents need to be present if at all possible, that way everyone is accountable and not just the mother.

-Take any extra supplies provided by the hospital for both you and the baby.  Apparently, you are not supposed to take the blankets, but we did walk away with a few.  They may be ugly, but they are incredibly multipurpose.  Take the pads, wash basin, hats, baby shirts, mesh underwear, pads, take it all!

-The nurses may also ask you if you need anything else before you leave---do not be shy about asking for more diapers, wipes, pads, ice packs, etc.  We walked out of the hospital with an extra $40 in diapers and wipes when I explained I was using cloth on him and would need something to tide us over until the cloth fit him.  Not only did this save us having to go to the store, but it saved us money too.

-Bring reusable grocery bags to the hospital with you to carry all your free hospital loot home.

I hope to add to this list as more things occur to me.  I'd also love to hear any other tips you ladies have out there.

Meditation on poop and boobies

Again, I'm a bad blogger with a ton of things I want to share but lately I've had either no internet connection (the horror!) or no time to get a coherent thought out.  I assure you, as I clean pee off the walls and scrub poop off the latest location I find it (normally on the child) that I am thinking about all the things I want to share here.

Speaking of poop, Dave and I changed North's first diaper together.  Dave had never changed a diaper before and it had been more than a decade since I had changed one.  Not that diaper changing is difficult, but even the simplest of tasks can be daunting when you're out of practice.  So the moment North started fussing after being fed, we knew he had probably dirtied himself and prepared his bassinet for a changing.  Being his first real day of life, we experienced the joy that is meconium first hand.  If you don't know what meconium is, imagine poop the consistency of goopy tar.  Twenty wipes and one very frustrated baby later, the black glue poo was removed from his tiny behind.  Just as we were about the assemble the diaper on him, a strange yellow liquid shot into the air.  With the reflexes of ninjas, Dave and I put our hands over the gushing fountain so that the liquid fell um...onto our spotless baby innocently laying in his bassinet.  

Our room door popped open and Nurse Ratchet (names have been changed to protect the bitchy) sprang into our room to find my husband and I laughing hysterically while our pee soaked baby screamed in distress.  She removed his ankle bracelet and dryly explained that his urine had set off the security alarm in his anklet causing the alarm to sound and the entire third floor maternity ward to lock down.  She was not amused though and stood there watching us attempt to complete the diaper change.  Just then the photography lady brought the proofs she had previously taken of North into our room for our consideration and proceeded to stand there and watch us prove that we probably should have taken those baby care classes after all.  North continued screaming and finally, annoyed at the two of them staring at us, I simply snarked, "geez, no pressure."  They both excused themselves and finally we secured the second tab on that tricky diaper.  

Of course now that we've been changing diapers for over a week and a half, we're kind of professional poop cleaner uppers.  North's arrival has clued us into the fact that we were put on earth to feed things and clean up their poop (I'm looking at you Jake, Luna and Gollum).  Don't think we haven't noticed the fact that none of you pets have learned how to use the toilet yet!

As for North stats, he's growing like a weed.  Last Saturday, we took him to his first pediatrician appointment where he weighed 6 lbs 5 ounces.  He had only lost 5 % of his birth weight of 6 lbs 10 ounces, which was quite good considering the nursing issues we were having.  Per the doctors recommendation for my engorgement, I went home and pumped.  I may or may not have squealed when I saw the first drop hit the bottom of the bottle.  I pumped 6 ounces, which to those not in the know, is kind of super awesome.  Two days later, at North's pedi appointment on Monday morning, he weighed 6 lbs 13 ounces.  Let's just say that the milk runneth over and I'm deeply thankful for such a blessing.