Four Months

Dear North,

I can't believe it's August and you're already four months old. You're decidedly not a baby anymore. I watched your pooping video from when you were just a few weeks old yesterday and already I do not recognize that earlier version of you. I cannot imagine a you that doesn't smile, giggle, babble and flirt. Oh yeah, and fly.

Man, do you love to fly. Since you've realized that you're Superman, it's all you want to do. Your bib/cape flaps in the wind as you fly around the house stopping only occasionally to tap dance on the dog or the counter top. I guess you're a cross between Superman and Lord of the Dance.

Currently, you are going through what I'm guessing is a growth spurt or maybe it's the four month wakeful period I have read a bit about. Either way, you are up about every three hours through the night. Previously, you would only wake up one time, so your sleep regression took us by surprise. But I do not mind the sleep interruptions because I love spending that time with you before I have to go into work for the day. I will gladly give up a bit of sleep to stare at your tiny sleepy face cast in a soft blue light from the projection machine we use as a night light.

You still sleep in our room right now. Especially considering how much you're waking up, sharing a room with you just makes sense. This morning, you were hungry around 4:30 AM, but once you ate, you were not interested in going back to sleep. So you laid there and hummed with each breath you took. Every now and then, we would hear a soft half-hearted attempt at a cry followed by more humming. I've considered grabbing the video camera to record these moments so I don't forget them. But I have to trust that I can capture these moments in my mind's eye forever. I admit it, I may be having a bit of hard time transitioning you to your crib in the nursery. I just know that once you are in your own room, I can't turn back the clock and make you my tiny baby anymore.

I know I have said this every letter thus far, but I want to lock you in time right now. You are still so tiny but with an emerging personality that tickles us to no end. You giggle uncontrollably anytime you are tickled or zerberted. You are also becoming much more self-amused and independent when playing on your activity mat and or in your jumperoo. Changing your diaper is not so much a struggle to fight your kicking legs as it is a challenge to get your toes out of your mouth. You seem very fond of your feet and often you laugh and jibber jabber while playing with them. I think you've found a friend.

Speaking of friends, there is also your favorite baby that lives inside the mirror. This works as a great soothing tool for when you are upset. We just carry you to the mirror and if we can get you to actually open your eyes and stop wailing for a second, you see that highly attractive little person's reflection and instantly change to smiles as you flirt with him. I don't think you realize that it's you yet.

We spend a lot of time in front of the mirror when you are not upset too. Sometimes, it is the easiest way for me to see your face. Because you still love perching on my shoulder facing backwards for hours a day, every now and then I carry you to a mirror just so I can see your face light up in smiles as you see our reflection. So there it is, I miss you even when I'm holding you in my arms.